Friday, August 26, 2011

Friday funny - Rules of showering

It's a bit rude in places so be warned, but not that any of you really need warning 'cos I know what yer all like! Have a great weekend.


How To Shower Like a Woman

Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry

basket according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to
do more sit-ups / leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower.

Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mold spots with Tile cleaner.

Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas.




How To Shower Like a Man




Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see partner along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.

Get in the shower.

Wash your face.

Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair.

Make a Shampoo Mohican

Wee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.

Admire willy size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

I KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING BECAUSE IT'S TRUE!!!!!!

PASS THIS ON TO SOMEONE WHO NEEDS CHEERING UP, AS THIS WILL DO IT.




Normal service will be resumed here soon. I've decided I will pay for more photo space on Picasa as using Photobucket just slows everything down too much. So I'll be bringing you up to date with all the goings on here very soon.

5 comments:

  1. *Snort* You been peeking in my windows?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes! I suggest you close your curtains! ;-D

    ReplyDelete
  3. That's a good one!

    ReplyDelete
  4. ShelaghC5:26 am

    Sue you're always good for a laugh. Keep them coming.

    ReplyDelete
  5. You must have a hidden camera in my house.

    ReplyDelete

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