Thursday, December 22, 2011

Christmas cake recipe.............

You must sample this CHRISTMAS CAKE RECIPE.
* 2 cups flour
* 1 stick butter
* 1 cup of water
* 1 tsp baking soda
* 1 cup of sugar
* 1 tsp salt
* 1 cup of brown sugar
* Lemon juice
* 4 large eggs
* Nuts
* 2 bottles wine
* 2 cups of dried fruit

Sample the wine to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the wine
again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and
drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a
large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this
point it's best to make sure the wine is still OK. Try another cup...
Just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eggs and add to the
bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick the frigging fruit up off floor. Mix on the turner.. If the fried
druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a
drewscriver. Sample the wine to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two
cups of salt. Or something. Check the wine. Now shift the lemon juice
and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or some
fink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360
degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish the wine and wipe
counter with the cat.
Go to Waitrose and buy cake.

Bingle Jells!


  1. My kinda cooking style!
    To hell with xmas cake,makes me wanna puke anyway! Just give me the wiiine!

  2. This always makes me laugh.


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